Expectations can be a blessing or a curse.We have expectations for ourselves, our family members, friends, associates, governments, and social situations.The list could go on and on. I often forget my expectations are not always the same as those of others and vice versa. That’s important to tune into.
Certainly they can be a blessing when we set goals for ourselves. They provide the impetus for moving forward in life and give us guidance as well. They can also help others by power of our example. We can contribute in many ways with our time, talent, or monetary donations.
However, our expectations can also bring us much unhappiness. Expectations of ourselves are sometimes unrealistic, particularly when we are attempting to live up to someone else’s ideas of what is best for us. Although it may be difficult to figure out what works for us, going through the process of finding out may be the most rewarding.
On the flip side, what we expect from others does not always manifest. Demanding they live up to our standards or goals is not necessarily met with willingness or even the ability to do so. When this results, we may resort to using our power to control the situation. This can be exhausting and frustrating, often making the situation worse, . Expecting others to do as we think they should is telling them they cannot take care of themselves. It says they are not able to live their lives well without us. It is an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ attitude. Are we truly the judge of how everyone else should think or live their life? Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own lives, not others. Offering guidance when asked, and allowing them to find their own way, regardless of the ease or difficulty, keeps the power where it should be- with the individual. It also releases us from responsibility for the outcome. It is a means of helping us all take responsibility for ourselves.
Does that mean we never help another? No, of course not. But it does behoove us to think before we do. Is our ‘help’ enabling that person to be dependent, or is it assisting him or her move down the path of growth? Sometimes, not getting involved is the kindest thing we can do.
I would suggest, when we notice any resistance to the expectations we hold, either within or from others, that we examine those expectations carefully. Are they doing good, or are they damaging? Choose good.
